Not Meant For Me
by Kage Kashu
Summary: Prequel to Silver and Cold. How exactly -did- Sanosuke get turned into a werewolf? Not going to be a happy fic, people. Chapter 3: All That's Said
1. Flight

Title: Not Meant For Me (Black Ice)  
  
Chapter: 1/?  
  
Chapter Title: Flight  
  
Current Rating: PG-13 (at least)  
  
Author: Kage Kashu  
  
Archive: FF  
  
Chapter Summary: Run Sano run... No, don't stop! Keep running!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, not that I wouldn't want to... then this stuff would be in both series.  
  
Author's notes: Prequel to Silver and Cold. How Sano became a werewolf. Stay tuned for a (hopefully) amusing dialogue at the end of each chapter...  
  
Warnings: Blood.  
  
Crossover Shows: Rurouni Kenshin, Weiss Kruez.  
  
Timeline: AU, after Sano left for China.  
  
Necessary Info: "~This means someone is speaking in the local Chinese dialect, since I don't actually know any Mandarin, or such...~"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~ You think you're smart  
  
You're not  
  
It's plain to see  
  
That you want me to  
  
Fall off  
  
It's killing me  
  
That sea  
  
You've got the gall  
  
Come take it all~  
  
~~ Not Meant For Me  
  
Sagara Sanosuke ran. With all the energy he had left to him, he ran. The wolves were closing in, and the bite wound on his leg throbbed. The wolves followed his blood trail quite closely now. With a wild glance behind him, he drove his legs harder. If he could find a suitable tree...  
  
There, just ahead of him... With a mighty shove that nearly took the last of his strength reserves, he leapt up, catching a hold on a branch six and a half feet off of the ground. He pulled himself up exhaustedly, and climbed higher, as these wolves didn't seem _right_. They were too smart. They had managed to catch him away from his horse, which they didn't seem interested in at all, immediately going after his leg. He'd managed to get away, briefly, by leaping into the river. Wolves don't like fast flowing water.  
  
Less than five minutes later, and he had thought, no, hoped, that the wolves had given up... but they had gone a short ways upstream, to where there was a small bridge... One that he had used to cross the very same river, the day before. Fifteen minutes later, he was climbing up this tree, in hopes that the wolves weren't smart enough to climb, as he'd seen some dogs do. Unfortunately, he was certain that if a dog could do it, a wolf, being a smarter, feral creature, could do it as well.  
  
His breath was ragged as he climbed to the highest branch he could get to, in his current condition. His breath caught when the wolves appeared beneath the tree, barking at him, as if he were merely a fox that they had treed. He stared down at them, and they seemed to grin at his misfortune... Oh, how he wished that he had his horse. Sure, wolves were supposed to be dangerous... but not this much so...  
  
If they couldn't climb, they may still be patient enough to wait him out, and the thought perturbed him. Wolves... A shiver ran down his spine. He had never thought that they would be a problem to him. But these wolves... they couldn't be normal wolves. They were way too smart. They circled beneath the tree, grinning up at him, and giving the occasional snort, until one wolf moved directly to the base of the tree. The look in its eyes... Sanosuke could tell that this was a creature that knew what it was doing.  
  
It placed its paws on the tree, standing on its hind legs... then it pulled back slightly, before springing up and digging its claws into the lowest limb, being the very same one that Sanosuke had used to pull himself up. He swallowed, his hands tightening convulsively on the branch he was sitting on. That... wolves did _not_ have retractable claws. There was no way... A sudden feeling of vertigo reminded him that his leg was still bleeding fiercely, and he clung to the branch for dear life... and not only because of the wolves below. But also because he had managed to get fairly high, and falling would be a bad thing even if there were no wolves beneath the tree.  
  
He gasped as another wave of vertigo hit him, and sweat dripped from the tip of his nose. And the strange wolf, that must have been a cat in its last life, was still climbing toward him. It paused, several limbs below his reach, looking at him curiously, as his body weaved briefly back and forth. Darkness clung to the edge of his vision, but damned if he was going to let go of the tree. That damned wolf was going to have to drag him bodily from his current place. His vision completely blacked momentarily, and when it came back, the wolf's face was mere inches from his own. He pulled back in shock, just as another wave of vertigo hit.  
  
The last thing he remembered, before his vision darkened in a more permanent manner, was the sensation of falling.  
  
~*~  
  
His head hurt, was the first thought that penetrated his pain clouded senses. And really, it wasn't just his head... His whole _body_ ached, in a way that Sanosuke was not used to. Maybe... he'd been drinking? Yes, that was the only explanation for the pain, and the lack of memory as to what had caused the pain. He must have been drunk.  
  
He opened his eyes, and shut them immediately, as light stabbed through his skull, leaving him clutching it in agony.  
  
Yes, he must have been _very_ drunk. He cracked open his eyes, whimpering at the pain that shot through his skull again. Stubbornly, he refused to close them. Now that he thought about it (No matter how painful the thinking process was, at the moment...) his headache didn't really feel like the kind that comes with a hangover. It felt more like... the kind of headache one gets when one Saitou Hajime throws a punch that one hasn't the time to dodge...  
  
He frowned. Yeah, that sounded more like it. So, he'd been drunk... and perhaps picked a fight with the older man. That would explain the pain in random body parts. His leg, mostly. It felt like he'd been stabbed in the thigh several times, and then kicked repeatedly as well. And last time he had gotten into a fight with Saitou... He had been in Megumi's care for days.  
  
But something wasn't right about that scenario, either. Wasn't Saitou dead?  
  
At that thought, he shot upright, ignoring the continuation of the pain... and the fact that by sitting up, it became worse. He glanced around himself, finding himself in a fairly well furnished bedroom, that wasn't, not that Sanosuke was surprised by this, his own. His head throbbed, his leg throbbed, and various other body parts also throbbed, as he contemplated the simple, but nice, furnishings of this room-that-was- obviously-not-his-own. The style of the pallet, and the various other objects in the room, seemed to be Chinese. So, that meant, most likely, that his going to China was not, in fact, a rather bizarre dream, as he had been thinking at first.  
  
His back stiffened, causing more aches as it did so, at the soft sound of someone moving outside the room. The door opened, and a young girl, maybe thirteen, at most, came in, with a large bowl of... dare he hope? Food. His stomach growled at the thought, and he stared at the bowl in the girl's hands.  
  
Her eyes widened as she caught sight of him and she gasped. She didn't drop the bowl, though, to his relief. "~You're awake?~"  
  
He blinked, "Aa." He nodded slightly, eying her. She was a rather cute kid. Really short, with big dark eyes and hair a lovely shade of blue- black. "Where am I?"  
  
Her eyebrows knitted. "~What did you say?~"  
  
He sheepishly raised a hand to his hair, mildly surprised to find bandages. "~Where this?~" He asked, in the local dialect. His speaking of it wasn't that good, but at least he was able to get his points across... He hoped.  
  
"~We are near the edge of the Forgotten Court, at the base of the mountains.~" She smiled sweetly, bringing the bowl to him. "~We didn't expect you to wake so soon... Masafumi will be so happy!~"  
  
"~Forgotten Court?~" Then he was distracted when she handed him the bowl. It was, indeed food. "~Thank you,~" he murmured his appreciation of the bowl, which seemed to be full of some kind of stew. His stomach gurgled very loudly, even as he tipped the bowl to his mouth.  
  
She giggled. "~You've got to be really special, to be able to wake up so quickly... I can see why Papa chose you...~"  
  
He swallowed the rest of the bowl's contents, so that he could ask, "~Chose me? Why 'Papa' chose me? What for?~"  
  
She giggled again. "~Papa said that you seemed... strong.~" Her face lit up. "~And you're foreign! I've never met someone from outside of this region! What's it like?~"  
  
He rubbed the back of his head, wincing when he hit a tender point. "Mou... ~Do not know... different.~" He grimaced. His grasp of the local dialect was terrible... And there was no way that he would be able to explain what exactly the differences were, even. Especially since he hadn't really seen anyone in the area, aside from this little girl. "Mou..." he said again. "~Name?~"  
  
Another giggle answered him. "~Toto. What's yours?~"  
  
A slight grin, and he answered her, "Sanosuke." He stared morosely at the bowl for a moment. He frowned deeply, then, thinking. If he didn't know where he was... how could he find his way home? They were near some "Forgotten Court", near the base of some mountains... Where had he been traveling when he came across the wolves? He jumped slightly, remembering. "Anou... ~I was chased by... wolves... How was I found?~"  
  
The girl giggled again. "~Papa said you fell out of a tree, so he brought you home.~" She grinned. "~You don't have to worry about the wolves though, they won't hurt you, now. Papa said they wouldn't.~"  
  
"~Said they wouldn't hurt me?~" That was confusing. "~Chose me?~" he asked again.  
  
"~They won't hurt you,~" she said, agreeably. "~Papa should talk to you about that, himself. It's his thing, you know.~"  
  
"Anou..." he fell silent. That was... weird. And the girl obviously understood why he was confused, too... And seemed to think it was funny. One thing was for certain, though. Sagara Sanosuke did _not_ like to be confused. But, he wasn't sure what to say, or ask, rather. So, he would have to wait, and most likely, find out the hard way. And if there was one thing he hated more than being confused... it was finding out the hard way. It usually ended up with him, as well as several others, very, very injured. He really didn't like finding out the hard way. "~I would know later~, ne?"  
  
She nodded, and left, with another giggle, saying, "~He'll be very happy to know that you're up!~"  
  
~*~  
  
Sanosuke felt... green, to say the least. No, not jealous, although, he supposed he should be jealous of Yahiko, who stayed home, in spite of wanting to come along with him to China. Not inexperienced either, although, since he wasn't quite twenty yet, he hadn't actually had sex before, but he didn't feel that kind of green, either. It was more of a sickening feeling, once he realized exactly what little Toto's "Papa", a strange, wolf-like man named Masafumi, had chosen him for.  
  
Not that it was too surprising, considering the way the girl had been avoiding the subject of the "Papa chose you" shit. The man was creepy... actually, he was creepier than Saitou Hajime ever was. And rather homely to boot. At least Saitou had a nice physique going for him, even if you could tell, just by looking at his face, that the man didn't eat properly.  
  
Sanosuke blinked. Where the hell had _that_ thought come from? Saitou was an asshole, a jerk. Rude, never nice, not to mention, he was dead. A dead man doesn't usually even have a physique anymore... at least, not that anyone sees. Not to mention, Saitou's obstinate claim that he "owned" the "ahou". It was stupid, among other things. And why the hell was he thinking about this now?  
  
His eyes tracked Masafumi. He had been offered a challenge, and usually, he would dive right for such a challenge, even injured. But there was something about it that made Sanosuke wary, to say the least. It _was_ a challenge to fight... but the stakes... "~If I win, you're mine. I will mark you, and you will be _my_ mate.~" Sanosuke didn't like those stakes, and could tell by the look in the man's eyes that Masafumi believed Sano to be easy prey in this manner. The last time Sagara Sanosuke had seen that look...  
  
It was in Shishiou's eyes. Shishiou had looked at them all that way. Shishiou was the reason that Sanosuke's right hand was crippled. That look... He had never wanted to see it again... Because it seemed to entail that a strong person, a very strong person, was completely off of his rocker. He did _not_ like that look. It bothered him as much as finding out about things the hard way. And he wasn't certain that he _could_ beat this man. Because... something about him wasn't _right_. It was wrong in such a way that just looking at the man you could see it, could feel it. Something was very wrong with this picture.  
  
And it wasn't even the way the man looked. The man had a similar aura to Shishiou... except stronger. No, no. He did _not_ want to fight this man. But, it seemed, refusing was as good as forfeiting. And if he forfeited... He would be owned. By that man. So, what to say? How could Sanosuke avoid this? An idea occurred to him, after a bit of thought, so he had to ask... "~What this... Mark?~"  
  
"~Scar you. It's a sign of ownership,~" the man explained it simply.  
  
Sanosuke sighed, hoping that his idea worked. "~Already have.~" He pulled his shirt down on the side, exposing the scar on his shoulder, hoping that Ookami no Mibu's mark of "ownership" counted. Although, he hadn't really counted on Masafumi's reaction. The man grew angry. Sanosuke scowled. Really, acting like you owned someone, even before the supposed fact. "~You have no rights. This~" he tapped his fingers on the scar "~says so.~"  
  
"~Where is the one who made that mark?~"  
  
"Nihon," Sanosuke replied.  
  
"~Nihon?~"  
  
He searched his mind for the foreign term used for his country's name. "Japan."  
  
If anything, the man looked angrier. "~If he's so far away, and left you alone, he's neglecting his duties. I challenge you again. To refuse is to say that I won.~"  
  
"Left me?" Sanosuke asked himself. Well, he supposed, that would have been true, if the thin man had ever been with the Kenshingumi. He had just been doing his job. Sanosuke sighed. He hadn't meant to get on that depressing line of thought, but... he realized that, even as part of the supposed Kenshingumi, he had never really had anyone _with_ him. They hadn't needed him, that was for certain. Any old idiot could have done what he had for them. Perhaps not with such strength, but still... His strength hadn't really done much for them in the first place.  
  
"~It shows in your eyes. You know what I said to be true,~" The man's voice had a slightly triumphant tone. "~Leave us,~" the man said, peremptorily at the people who were there to witness what was being said.  
  
"~Not so,~" Sanosuke muttered. "~No win without fight,~ jiji." The last part was spat out in Japanese. He raised his fists, and poised himself, ready for this fight. At least... He might enjoy the fight, if nothing else. He'd have to fight anyway.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Sano was really trying to put me off, with this one. He's being uncooperative. Very.  
  
Sanosuke: Ojou-san...  
  
Really, he should know better... After all, it was his idea to begin with...  
  
Sanosuke: But why are you being so mean?  
  
What, you expected it to happen pleasantly?  
  
Sanosuke: *sighs*  
  
I'm depressed... And maybe hungry... I'll go get a burrito...  
  
Sanosuke: And I can change a bit of this...  
  
Or not. I've been feeling so pathetic lately...  
  
Sanosuke: Maybe 'cause you didn't eat?  
  
Mou... I have a not-real-person telling me to eat... *sighs* I suppose he's right though... *stomach growls*  
  
Sanosuke: Yep, I'm right. I thought you would just leave this alone...  
  
It was your idea. Besides, I'm in just the right mood to write it...  
  
Sanosuke: What's with the torture, ojou-san?  
  
You were injured before it even started...  
  
Sanosuke: You had me _running_ before the beginning. Isn't that just a little mean? Not a moment's peace, even at the beginning...  
  
You're the one who wanted me to explain what happened...  
  
Sanosuke: I wasn't aiming for angst, ojou-san!  
  
Quit being a wimp. This isn't exactly going to be a long story...  
  
Sanosuke: Well, there goes my five minutes of fame...  
  
But really, this chapter's nothing. I'm gonna be _really_ mean to you in coming parts. I think.  
  
Sanosuke: Mou... ojou-san....  
  
~~Owari 


	2. And Fight

Title: Not Meant For Me (Black Ice)  
  
Chapter: 2/4  
  
Chapter Title: And Fight  
  
Current Rating: PG-13 (at least)  
  
Author: Kage Kashu  
  
Archive: FF  
  
Chapter Summary: Depressed, training, and wolf Sano.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, not that I wouldn't want to... then this stuff would be in both series.  
  
Author's notes: I got to apologize, before it's too late... but this is going to be really short. Two more chapters after this one. And an epilogue. I'm also kinda sad... Nobody reviewed the last bit... but I guess it doesn't matter, I'm posting this chapter anyway...  
  
Warnings: Mention of non-con. Not even very obvious mention of it... Oh, well.  
  
Crossover Shows: Rurouni Kenshin, Weiss Kruez.  
  
Timeline: AU, after Sano left for China.  
  
Necessary Info: "~This means someone is speaking in the local Chinese dialect, since I don't actually know any Mandarin, or such...~"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~The jury is coming  
  
Coming to tear me apart  
  
All this bitching and moaning  
  
Come on, it's on  
  
I'm trapped in this world  
  
Lonely and fading  
  
Heart broke and waiting  
  
For you to come  
  
We are stuck in this world  
  
That's not meant for me  
  
For me~  
  
~~ Not Meant For Me  
  
Violated. Still in pain from his encounter with the wolves, and now this. Sanosuke _knew_ with great certainty that trying to leave wouldn't help him, that that _man_ would be able to find him anyway. He had snuck away from the village anyway. Now, he sat high in a tree, feeling sorry for himself. Weak. He was _weak_. He had known that he wouldn't win, from the moment that his arm was caught in that vice-like grip. The man, in spite of the nasty aura that rolled off of him in waves, hadn't looked _that_ strong. But Sanosuke had barely even been able to fight back... at all.  
  
That man was as strong as Shishiou had been.  
  
A tear dripped from the tip of his nose, following several others that had also gone that route. He sniffled slightly, trying to stop the tears that continued to drip from the corners of his eyes. All he managed to do was inhale a few of them. Weak. He was _weak_. So, why shouldn't he be crying like a pussy? His breath hitched in a slight sob.  
  
His clothes had been ruined, too. At least, what of them hadn't already been. So, he was wearing something that that asshole had given him. At first, Sanosuke had refused to wear it. Masafumi had found his refusal amusing, telling him that if he truly wished to, he could run around naked. But if he didn't want to be... taken by any who could knock him down, which, Masafumi had informed him, was everyone in the village, except a few really young ones... he would wear something.  
  
His breath hitched again, more harshly, and the tears fell more earnestly. He clenched his left fist, punching the branch upon which he sat. On the side of him away from the tree, of course, as he _had_ been expecting what happened next. The branch cracked and splintered around his fist, then falling through several feet of other branches. He gave another sob, this one more violent than the former ones.  
  
Weak. He was _weak_. Saitou had been right. He had been foolish and weak. Stupid. An idiot. He was a stupid punk. Still a kid. He hadn't _had_ anyone to mentor him after Sagara-taicho had died. No one had cared enough to teach him, so he had to learn on his own. Maybe he should commit hara-kiri, and die with some of his honor intact. Another sob, deeper, and more painful than the last, and he wondered... Would anyone wonder what had happened to him?  
  
"Teme..." he attempted to growl, around another gut-wrenching sob. "Teh... Teme..." his breath hitched, and he was annoyed by the fact. He was trying to say something. He hated admitting when he was wrong, but the sobs were making it harder. "I... hii... I... You were right." He sniffled again. "Stupid. I don't think that... hii... I guess... I'll just... hii... hafta... hii... haunt you next time around, then." The hiccup he'd been fighting finally came out.  
  
"~Sanosuke...~" called a soft voice from below the tree, and he stiffened. It was that little girl. "~What's wrong?~"  
  
He almost wanted to strangle her. Almost. But he doubted that she really understood. "~Not,~" he replied, trying to tone down the misery he knew was in his voice.  
  
"~I can smell your tears, Sanosuke...~" she said.  
  
He looked down at her. She looked sad, and kind of confused. Innocent. No, no. He couldn't tell her. "~Smell them, can you?~" he asked, forcing a little lightheartedness into his tone, even though he felt anything but that. "~Maybe it was another.~"  
  
"~No,~" she murmured, still staring up at him, "~they're yours.~"  
  
"Mou..." She had started climbing up after him. Uh oh. "~Yes,~" he said dourly. "~Mine.~"  
  
She continued climbing. "~Why are you so sad?~" She sniffed the air. She was only a few feet away now. "~Blood too. Papa hurt you, didn't he? He lied. He said he wouldn't.~"  
  
It was all he could do not to break down again. "~Why you say that?~"  
  
She frowned, now on level with him. "~Who else would? Papa isn't always nice... But my sisters don't care.~"  
  
"Mou?"  
  
Her eyebrows pulled together. "~Pell, Neu, and Schoen. He hurts them too. He doesn't hurt me, though. I'm too young.~"  
  
"Iya... Naze wa?" He couldn't believe it. This guy. "~He has already...?~"  
  
She nodded. "~They aren't strong, though. They don't have potential to be really strong. You do. Maybe if you trained, you could fight him.~"  
  
"~I fight him, remember?~" He smiled sourly. Truth be told, he didn't feel like wallowing anymore. Whatever happened, happened. Yes, he was weak. But he could always become stronger. "~I fight... win. Then what?~"  
  
"~Then he has to do what you say.~" She grinned. "~Someone has to do it...~"  
  
"~What others?~"  
  
"~The others? They're nothing. Stronger than you are, now, though, I guess... but you have potential. They don't. Can I help you?~"  
  
"~Why?~"  
  
Her grin widened. "~I like you.~"  
  
~*~  
  
For some reason, he seemed to be stronger than he had been before, and, in spite of his injuries, seemed to be quite fit. More so than before. Which was strange, as he hadn't had time the past few days to actually train. For some odd reason, Toto wanted to watch him. He hadn't expected her to coach him, though. When she told him to try something, he did. At first, it was to humor her. Then he realized that her suggestions actually helped his stance, which in turn helped the speed at which he moved and the strength with which he threw a punch.  
  
Strange, how quickly he seemed to be improving, as well. He hadn't ever really had this kind of incentive, but even that couldn't explain it. As the days went by, his injuries faded and he received new ones. It was as if he had constantly been fighting with Saitou for a week, but the injuries healed too quickly. There was something happening to him... It seemed to be a good thing, though. He was healing faster, and getting stronger faster, getting faster and with a few days training, it was as if he had been training for months. He didn't understand it, no, but it had to be a good thing, right?  
  
And then the girl told him something else. Her village, it seemed, was infected by a strange, western disease. She said that _he_ seemed to be showing the symptoms of it. When he asked her what she meant, she giggled, telling him that it was a good thing.  
  
"~How is getting some disease a good thing?~" And his speaking of the local dialect had improved, too.  
  
"~It's good because it's not a bad disease. It makes you stronger, faster, heal quicker, and live longer. I've got it too.~" She giggled again. "~It has one or two bad parts, though...~"  
  
Sanosuke sighed, "Toto-chan..."  
  
She giggled some more. "~Sometimes, we turn into animals... but that's good too, I think. But some people don't like it... The bad thing is that it spreads through bites and stuff. Papa said that he had tried to transfer it to you. He didn't say that you weren't agreeable, though. He does that sometimes... I think... I used to idolize him... But I'm beginning to hate him.~"  
  
"~Why's that?~"  
  
"~Recently... I've been noticing stuff... but it was worse, once you came here. I think... I like you more than I liked him.~" She grinned. "~You don't mind, do you?~"  
  
Was she saying that she had a crush on him? "Mou... ~I guess not...~"  
  
Her giggle was really loud this time. "~You sound like you mind. But, I'll be happy, as long as you're not mad at me.~"  
  
He grinned. His smiles had taken a rougher edge to them, these past few days, but that didn't seem to bother her. "~Not mad, just confused. I guess I wasn't very interesting to the people I used to live with...~" He chuckled sourly. Of course, he missed them, but... he wasn't sure if he'd ever get the chance to see them again...  
  
"~Why not? You're pretty, strong and funny, how could you not be interesting?~"  
  
Pretty? Strong? Funny he could understand, but the other two... He knew a lot of people that were better looking than him, and just about everyone around here was stronger than him. She giggled at the look on his face. He shook his head, and went back to rock-breaking.  
  
~*~  
  
It had been less than a month. He heard people whispering about the moon, a lot, and so found that tonight was to be the night of the full moon. Masafumi had nagged at him all day, and Sanosuke had had about enough of that. He wasn't a housewife, if anything, he was some sort of freaky mistress... Which sounded really, really weird, even coming from him. Masafumi had even seemed shocked by the words. Little Toto-chan had found it kind of funny, and had said to him, a little later, "~You're dealing with it a lot better. I think... you could get out of it soon... but tonight would be bad...~"  
  
"Mou? ~What about tonight?~" He remembered her saying something...  
  
"~Silly. We all turn, tonight. We get to see what you are!~" She giggled. "~I think you would be...~"  
  
He grinned, wondering what she thought about it. He had seen some others turn, occasionally, but had been told that he wouldn't be able to turn at all until full moon. Tonight.  
  
"~Wolf.~" She grinned. "~I'm a wolf too. I think you'd make a great wolf.~"  
  
He laughed. "~I knew this guy, who was called a wolf. Not this kind of wolf, obviously, but still...~"  
  
She leaned forward, half expecting a story. He told her quite a few stories, and they seemed to enthrall her. "~What was he like?~"  
  
Sanosuke stared up at the late afternoon sky, leaning against a tree. "~He was... well, a prick, among other things.~" She giggled, loudly in response to that. "~Really. He was... But I think... He was one of the best fighters I've ever seen. Only twice have... No, three times, I've seen him taken down. First, by Kenshin, who's the absolute best fighter I've seen, then by Shishiou, and then...~" He sighed, suddenly saddened. "~Don't get me wrong, I hated him... but... The last time I saw him taken down... I think... It was his death. The place collapsed on him. It wasn't even a person that did it... I don't know why I find it depressing, either, but I do...~"  
  
"~Maybe you liked him, but he annoyed you?~"  
  
Sanosuke started laughing. "Aa. ~That would probably be it... But I'm pretty sure that he hated me, so... There wasn't anything to be gained from trying to talk to him... I had a short temper, and he knew just how to piss me off... Well, I still have a short temper, and just thinking about some of the things he said still pisses me off...~" He sighed. "~I just can't do anything about it anymore.~"  
  
She giggled again. "~It sounds like you liked him. You'd have to like someone a lot, to still get angry for things they said while they still lived... Or else you would have had to hate him.~"  
  
"~Respected him. I never really liked him, but I did respect him... He tried to convince me, when I first met him, that he was one of those stupid salesmen.~"  
  
"~What?~"  
  
"~A guy that walks from door to door, selling stuff. Hell if I remember... Oh! Pharmacist! He was saying that he was a pharmacist.~"  
  
"~What's that?~"  
  
"~Someone who makes medicine... Funny thing is, I don't think he realized how stupid it was, claiming to be a pharmacist, when he had sword calluses all over his palms...~" Sanosuke grinned briefly. "~Then he started being an asshole... I got mad, hit him... and he stabbed me in the shoulder.~" He chuckled. He wasn't even sure why, but that actually wasn't among the things that Saitou had done/said that continued to anger him. "~Broke the damned cheap thing off, too. And when I went back after him... He hit the part that was still stuck in my arm...~"  
  
She gasped. "~That had to have hurt...!~"  
  
He chuckled again. "~Of course, it hurt. I passed out, it hurt so much... You know... When I first woke up here... I thought that he must have stabbed me a half dozen times in the leg, kicking it several times after... until I realized that the bastard was dead. Then I remembered the other bastard biting my leg.~"  
  
"~You have a dirty mouth,~" she grumbled at him. He just grinned. "~Oh! Before I forget to tell you... Be careful tonight. Keep control of yourself, and above all else, don't try to fight _anyone_. Okay?~"  
  
He blinked, "~Why that?~"  
  
"~The moon makes us think we can do more than we can...~" She sighed. "~And the entire pack'll go after you if you act like that. It's called moon madness. And even if you aren't, they'll assume you are if you try to fight anyone. Go after a deer, or something, but don't fight.~"  
  
"~Okay, okay,~" he grinned reassuringly. "~I get your point.~"  
  
"~Do you?~"  
  
His answer wasn't to be heard, however. It had been getting late, by this time, and the sun had set, even as they were talking. What had interrupted him, however, was the glowing orb, floating gently above the horizon. If he could have seen himself, he would have seen his eyes widen and dilate, his breath quicken and his body leaning forward, to look more closely at it. He was distracted though, when the pain began. He grunted softly as his bones shifted underneath his skin, and then...  
  
Worse. Fire underneath his skin, and his bones cracking. "Nnnnnngaaaaaaah!" Everything turned red and black, and he vaguely heard Toto whimper. And then... it was over. No more pain, just this wonderful feeling. Power. He _could_ take on every single one of them, beast or not. He bared his teeth in a grin. He was going to...  
  
A soft bark caused him to glance over to where Toto had been. An older, dark brown wolf cub sat in her place. A closer look identified the adolescent wolf to be her. Then he remembered. He wasn't supposed to fight. Whether or not he could take them all on, he couldn't fight. He was to save that for later, when the moon no longer influenced his thought. He stared up at the orb in the sky. _That_ was where the feeling was coming from. Huh. Well, then, he'd just have to ignore it. He'd play with Toto first. He barked at her, and she grinned, taking off in a flurry. "Matte!" he barked.  
  
~*~  
  
Sagara Sanosuke woke up, alone in the woods. Surprisingly, he wasn't only alone, but naked as well. What the... Oh. Moon. Yeah. He glanced about, hoping to find some sign of his clothing. Where had he been, before he changed? What had he changed into? Oh, shit... What had he done while changed? "Waaaaaaaah!!!!" he howled. "Oi, oi!" He jumped up, then sat back down, unsure if he wanted to go anywhere naked. But he had to find his clothes.  
  
It took him an hour to find the tree he and Toto had been sitting by when the moon came out, and the only part of his clothing that was wearable was the pants. The transformation had, it seemed, been rather stressful on the semi-tight shirt he had been wearing. And, recalling the feeling of power he had had, staring up at the moon, he decided that today... he would challenge Masafumi, for his freedom. Maybe... Maybe, if he won, he'd take Toto with him. She was growing on him.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: *sighs*  
  
Toto: He told me.  
  
Told you what?  
  
Toto: What's going to happen to me. *glares*  
  
Sano..... What did I tell you about that?  
  
Sanosuke: *whistles innocently*  
  
Ch'. See if I'm nice next time.  
  
Sanosuke: You call that nice!?! If that's nice, ojou-san, I don't want to see mean.  
  
God, you really are an idiot. I _was_ nice. I didn't actually explain what happened, you know. If you want...  
  
Sanosuke: No, no. Nevermind. (You really gotta watch this chick, people...)  
  
*rolls eyes*  
  
Sanosuke: No, really, ojou-san. Especially considering where you're going with Silver and Cold.  
  
Idiot.  
  
Toto: Am I gonna show up in Silver and Cold?  
  
I'll think about it.  
  
Sanosuke: Just how many of us are gonna.....  
  
Shut up about it already.  
  
Toto: Don't worry Sanosuke-san. I'll still love you!  
  
*shudders*  
  
Sanosuke: *looks confused*  
  
Didn't you read the chapter? She said she liked you. As in "suki da". God, you're dense.  
  
Sanosuke: Does that mean...  
  
Do I have to spell it out?  
  
Sanosuke: That she has a crush on me?  
  
*nods*  
  
Toto: *blushes*  
  
~~Owari 


	3. All That's Said

Title: Not Meant For Me (Black Ice)  
  
Chapter: 3/4  
  
Chapter Title: All That's Said  
  
Current Rating: PG-13  
  
Author: Kage Kashu  
  
Archive: FF  
  
Chapter Summary: Hm... Sano find nice weapon. Sano fight Masafumi, cause he gets real mad... Sano meets a new friend. (This one seems so freakin' bland...)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, not that I wouldn't want to... then this stuff would be in both series.  
  
Author's notes: Well... Rokanu is the mangling of the name of a character in an American show, so... If you want to know, read Silver and Cold (shameless plug tm). Yo! Gotta admit, though, this chappy's pretty short, and I don't really expect the next one to be that long either... It also rambles. Oopsie.  
  
Warnings: Uhm... Character Death. Depression, angst... a bit of weird.  
  
Crossover Shows: Rurouni Kenshin, Weiss Kruez, (unknown.).  
  
Timeline: AU, after Sano left for China.  
  
Necessary Info: "~This means someone is speaking in the local Chinese dialect, since I don't actually know any Mandarin, or such...~"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~So what you got  
  
One last shot  
  
It seems to me  
  
That you're not needed  
  
Come on  
  
It's killing me  
  
That sea  
  
You've got the gall  
  
Come take it all  
  
The jury is coming  
  
Coming to tear me apart  
  
All this bitching and moaning  
  
Come on, it's on~  
  
~~ Not Meant For Me  
  
The black wolf bounded through the jungle, a small brown wolf on his heels. According to the map he had stolen from that bastard Masafumi, who he still hadn't managed to beat down, in spite of being thus for several years... Or maybe more... He couldn't remember. But according to that map... there should be a clearing up here... A big one.  
  
He leapt down, off of a higher part of the ground, and fell into a roll. When he paused... The smell of old death and blood filled his nose. He coughed. Behind him, he heard Toto do the same. "Mou..." he said, catching her attention. "~Let's turn. That way we can check this out better.~" However long it had been, he now spoke the local dialect fluently.  
  
Wordlessly, as he had found out that most in their beast form couldn't speak, she shifted, then pulled the makeshift pack from his shoulders. Then he was free to shift as well. Which he did immediately. Once they had dressed, they went to explore. The field on the map had seemed like a good training place, but now that they found it... No, he would not bother the dead.  
  
So, instead, they spent the day burying the bodies. And Sanosuke found something that made him... happy. Kind of. It was obviously old, and in kind of ratty condition, but... It was a zanbattou. In China. Whatever it was doing there... Sanosuke just thanked his stars that it was. If he could fix it up... With his old strength and speed it had still been deadly, but now...  
  
He wasn't sure, but he figured that if he ever managed to get that rematch against Kenshin, he would actually have a chance. More than a chance.  
  
Once the bodies were buried, they moved on to another clearing, and he practiced into the night with his newfound weapon. Maybe he'd have a chance against Masafumi, even. This zanbattou looked exactly like his old one, but it didn't feel the same. It was lighter, and more maneuverable. Or maybe it was just him.  
  
Little Toto-chan, who hadn't changed much in the past few years, cheered him on, and gave him suggestions, as per usual. Some of the suggestions were good, and he incorporated them into his stance and attack modes... The zanbattou still caught air heavily on the swings, but he still managed to force it into a much higher speed than he had ever been able to do with his old one.  
  
And the blade was sharper.  
  
Yes, now Sanosuke had a weapon. A familiar weapon. And Toto cheerfully informed him that maybe, just maybe, this is what he was going to need to handle Masafumi.  
  
Although, he hadn't actually tried in several months... And he was still getting stronger. At this point, he probably _could_ go around starkers and no one would dare bother him... Except Masafumi. Which brought Sanosuke back to his original thoughts. So, should he take the chance and go for the goal now? Or should he wait until he got back in practice with the huge weapon.  
  
After deliberating this in his mind for the entire trip back, he decided on one thing. If he lost this fight... his zanbattou would be broken. There was no doubt about that. "Zanza Ni," he decided out loud, for the weapon's name. Of course, the original one hadn't really been named Zanza, that had been his own old name... The original had merely been "partner" for the entire time he had had it...  
  
"~What was that?~" Toto asked, curiously.  
  
He shrugged. "Gaijin ~often name their weapons. I've just named it.~"  
  
"~It's lucky for it to be named, I hear,~" she murmured. "~I should head off to bed... And you should sleep also, before trying again, okay?~"  
  
"Hai," he murmured after her, watching her scramble off, heading for the little room, on the other end of the house, that she stayed in.  
  
The night air chilled him, after a while, and he shivered. She was right, morning was soon enough for another go.  
  
"Hai..."  
  
~*~  
  
It was a surprise that Masafumi hadn't bothered him that night. He was glad of it, of course, but that didn't make it any less of a surprise. Masafumi always seemed to know when Sanosuke was up to something, so... Yeah. A surprise. The zanbattou was light, by comparison to his old one with his old strength, but it was still kind of hard to actually use, what with his crippled right hand. But he would manage. He'd always managed before.  
  
A loud cracking noise shocked him out of his thoughts, and he found himself running toward the source. When he got there... there was a crowd around what looked to be Masafumi. Smelled like it too, over the sharp metallic smell of freshly spilt blood. He sniffed at it for a moment before he finally recognized who's blood it was.  
  
Toto.  
  
"Toto-chan!" he howled. "Masafumi!!"  
  
The crowd murmured and moved away from him, clearing a path directly to the center... Or perhaps, just moving him toward the center. Where Masafumi stood over little Toto's unmoving body. With a gun. The bastard.  
  
"Teme..." he growled, deep in his throat. "~This time is official.~"  
  
The bastard cocked his head at him. "~Are you that willing to die? After you've been my willing whore these past six years?~"  
  
Six... years? "~All the more reason to die now. Before I loose what little pride~ _honor_ ~I have left.~" He tapped the zanbattou resting on his shoulder. "~Prepare to meet your end.~"  
  
~*~  
  
It was an angry, bloody, Sanosuke who dragged himself away from the village. He would bet that those people _respected_ the name Sagara for _centuries_. Fuck if he was gonna stay there after all that had happened. The full realization hadn't truly hit him until just now... Toto had probably been caught out, for helping _him_.  
  
He was angry. Although, perhaps anger wasn't entirely it. Rage, perhaps. Pain. How could that man... Wasn't she like his daughter? He sniffed, inhaling a few tears. 'Crying again. Such a pussy. Weak. Can't hold my own... Toto-chan...'  
  
He threw his head back and howled. He had done that a few times, even before coming to China, but it was never quite the answer to... well, of course it wasn't an _answer_, but it sure made him feel a little better. 'Might as well get all the anger out now, right?' he decided, lifting the zanbattou with only his left hand. Time to tear down the jungle.  
  
~*~  
  
Later... Quite a while later, maybe days later. Maybe weeks. At that time, he thought he heard someone. But he had thought so quite a few times after leaving the village at the base of the mountains. He never found the source, and so, decided that it must be his imagination, because he couldn't smell anyone either.  
  
So, when he heard leaves crunch, right next to where he was lying, he leapt away with a yowl. The man who had nearly stepped on him had much the same reaction. A katana was whipped out, and was at Sanosuke's throat almost immediately. A Japanese katana. A samurai's sword. He eyed the man behind it, who eyed him back with much the same curiosity.  
  
"Nihonjin?" he asked, politely.  
  
The man blinked and nodded.  
  
"Samurai?" Only a samurai dressed quite like that. And this one almost seemed like he'd forgotten what era it was.  
  
"Hai."  
  
"Watashi wa Sagara Sanosuke."  
  
"Sagara?"  
  
"Hai." He nodded as much as the katana at his neck allowed for.  
  
The man dropped his aggressive stance. "Sekihoutai?"  
  
Sanosuke nodded. "And you are?"  
  
"Hudosu Rokanu." An inclination of the head, which probably was meant to replace the formal bow that normally went along with an introduction, punctuated the statement.  
  
"Hajimemashite," Sanosuke murmured pleasantly, and the other man relaxed further.  
  
"Hajimemashite."  
  
He scratched the back of his head. "What brings you out to the middle of nowhere, like so?"  
  
~*~  
  
All in all, Rokanu had been a fairly nice guy. He'd lost his horse a few days earlier, as the creature had gotten frightened off when he heard something roaring nearby. It had been a tiger, and apparently, the horse hadn't cared what it was... so took off, with most of his provisions as well.  
  
And they ended up heading east. Together, because safety lies in numbers and all that bull. Sano paid a lot more attention to his sense of smell than he had used to, and figured out a bunch of weird, and most likely to be useless in the future, information about the habitats and lifestyles of the animals. Occasionally they would comment on such things to each other, and it took Sanosuke a long time to realize that Rokanu probably shouldn't have been able to smell the same.  
  
Not that it really mattered. He'd also been amused to find that Rokanu had been just as lost as he himself, so, most likely, together they may be able to find some signs of civilization. Even if it took forever.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Yo!!  
  
Sanosuke: *falls over* Whoa!! Ojou-san!  
  
*grins*  
  
Sanosuke: Why are you in such a good mood?  
  
*grins*  
  
Toto: She got reviews. *pouts* And she killed me.  
  
Sanosuke: Really? That was about the first bit, Toto-chan.  
  
*grins*  
  
Sanosuke & Toto: *sweatdrops*  
  
*grins*  
  
Sanosuke: *looks at review page* Hmm... Danyella Skyler Silverfire... Where have I heard that before...?  
  
Toto: It's Kashu-san's Rubberwall.  
  
Sanosuke: I think I remember something about that... *glances over at drooling author*  
  
Toto: *grins* She said I'm cute.  
  
Sanosuke: Well, yeah. Of course your cute.  
  
Toto: *sparkles* (Sanosuke-sama said I'm cute... Yay!!)  
  
Sanosuke: *sweatdrops* Well, there was another person too. Reviewed _twice_ may I add. Rinnalaiss Turegwaithen? Wow. I'm not even sure I said it right...  
  
Toto: *sparkles*  
  
*grins*  
  
Sanosuke: Ooookay. Looks like I'm the only on in the land of the living, today, to say thanks. So thanks. And, unfortunately, Ojou-san is... to out of it to realize... that she now has another stalker... How many is it now? *sweatdrops*  
  
*grins*  
  
Toto: *sparkles*  
  
Sanosuke: *sweatdrops again* Well, I guess that's it, this time.  
  
~~Owari 


End file.
